Let this be my tomb

As reported by Kotaku, the bed comes from Japan’s Bauhutte, which specializing in gaming-focused furniture. Rather than being a single product, it’s actually a regular bed with several of the company’s items placed around the outside, including its bed side-board and side table.

The gaming chair has been replaced by the gaming bed

It appears that most needs are taken care of: a side table to hold plenty of chips and drinks, an arm for attaching a tablet, monitor and keyboard stands, and what appears to be a side unit for holding a frankly dangerous number of energy drinks. The lack of a mobile toilet is somewhat disappointing, though.

The whole setup does look pretty enticing, but I would add a “couch gaming” keyboard such as the Razer Turret or Corsair Lapdog. There’s no word on whether dressing like a ninja is mandatory, but maybe the model is concerned about the coronavirus.

The gaming chair has been replaced by the gaming bed

Elsewhere in the world of slightly ridiculous gaming products, there’s Acer’s Predator Thronos, a five-foot-tall, 485-pound motorized chair that reclines, vibrates, and fits three 27-inch monitors. It costs $20,000 (without the monitors), though there is a cheaper ‘Air’ version that’s just $14,000. And if you want something comfortable to wear in your gaming chairs/bed, try Puma’s $105 gaming socks, which come with three different “modes.”

Just a few questions about this gamer bed

Japanese retailer Bauhutte sells a great deal of furniture aimed at “gamers,” but few can top its one-stop shop for sleep and gaming. Like Voltron, but made for people who refuse to use major muscle groups, the Bauhutte “ultimate gaming bed” combines an elevated headboard, desk, snack shelves, tablet holder, and a bed to ensure you will only have to get up to use the bathroom, hopefully.

The gaming chair has been replaced by the gaming bed

The full setup, which turns eight different products into a cocoon, costs roughly ¥113,250, or about $1,048 (snacks sold separately). “I wake up and move from my bed to my desk,” its description reads. “Why is that so complicated? Gaming beds solve this problem.”

I guess that’s true. Far be it for me to judge. But I do have a few quick questions:

  • What is the mask for?
  • Why doesn’t this gamer bed come in a bigger size that might accommodate two people?
  • Why doesn’t it come in less … aggressive colors?
  • What impact might this have on sleep hygiene?
  • Does the gamer onesie come in my size?
  • Is that a tube of lotion next to the bed?
  • Why did you include this lotion?
  • My coworker Chaim Gartenberg thinks this cream is Nivea’s “all purpose moisturizing cream” for all parts of your body. Is this true?

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